4 years since the tragedy !!!

Aug 21 2003 , slightly intimated by things that were in store and still recovering from a recent illness I set foot in my first IT(software) job . A small step for me , a giant turnaround for my life. Yday I completed 4 years in IT and when I look back at all that has happened, although there were mixed emotions the one that seems to dominate is a sense of tragedy. :) .

No jokes, well there is lot of money, too much comfort, some thinking to do and all that, but at the end of a day when u take life as a whole its so much beyond what one can do in an IT job. There is no feeling of having grown, nah promotions and change in title are trivial, meaningless things, like toys to kids, they can be fun for a while but in the long wrong they really arent signs of growth. Growth in salary is always good but if rs.1k increase means u are growing then when do u decide u have fully grown. Then there is responsibility growth but after 4yrs in IT and coming to place where i manage some small projects i am always left wondering how thats responsible. Sure there are people dying out there, children who are homeless and hungry and me writing java code or monitoring 10 people writing java code that monitors phone calls is responsible. I dont mean to sound caring and all that , I am perhaps the most selfish guy u will come across. My point is that there is no feeling of accomplishment in IT.

May be its me , may be its the works i have done, may be its just the fate that was aligned that way. Wateva it may be i am left feeling its been 4 yrs of tragedy and a life full of potential is being forced to run in directions it shudnt be and speeds much slower than it can. :) :) :) :) :)

unnum puriyalaya confused me tooo ;-)


cheers,
--Badri--

P.S: I celebrated yday with headache, bad health and moodiness .