Mental Mess!!!


I searched for God couldnt find proof for existence of one
Longed for a guru but found none
Read many books and confused myself and my brethren
Became skeptic and argued about everything from tantra to zen

Nothing seemed to be right and no one in flesh seemed realized
In my hunt for enlightenment i got demoralized
Why do i want liberation, How can i be a bhaktha if god is a myth
The questions are huge and so is my frustrations width

Greed came in under the guise of survival essential,
Then anger, lust and every sin you can name seemed inconsequential
Bah Karma is a bluff and we are but specks in a large universe
I did tell myself and reread richard dawkins every atheist verse

But oh mother i feel ashamed of myself when i see your picture on the wall
Although every claim of your presence a bluff i would call
What am I going through and where am I headed
What do i do to get my ego shreded

Bhagawan Ramana said so do vichara and I tried
But the mind resists and every few seconds i cried
Am i filled with so much filth that purification is impossible
Or am i such a genious that abating my thought storm is not feasible.

Nah this mind should be silenced and the thoughts stopped
All that destroys calmness and equanimity must be dropped
I might not believe in god nor in realization
But there is a better way to go through life and thats through de-ramification

What do i do to maintain the calm
When for bread and existence I ship in the storm
I dont want to give up and say realization is through prarabdha or destiny
If i cant calm my mind now, my having sown seeds in a previous birth to calm it seems funny.

Guide me oh masters and my mother, if you do exist
I dont want intellect or siddhis through which i can persist
Just one boon i need and all the evils of this world i will resist
Tell me how my when thoughts arise upon them silence i can insist.



Hariharas said...

Search thee, though not in vain; For existence is in thine own existence; Seek not thyself without a mirror to reflect.

Thus spake upanishads of GOD; In HIM the existence not outside; So where to search when the search, searched, and the searcher are in ONE.

Even to seek, thee seek not in flesh; For HE is not flesh but soul pure. Enlightenment is not of flesh neither of material; Lighten up your heart! oh dear! Aren't you of the same stuff as the GOD thee search after?

In that oneness where is Bhakta or Bhakti? Who to enlighten whom and for what? Sing thee the note of Oneness of the soul, thy GOD, and thy existence.

Why stop thoughts which your Bhagawan called non-existence? Whence came the filth to cover thine all-powerfull soul?

Oh! Pure and Great! Dream not, Thee is Soul All-Powerful, purity consumed and personified. Awake! from the long slumber.

Glory be unto thee!

~~ Hari(