13-14 days back I had spoken about how I was going to turn 23 and felt like a big failure,well today is my 23rd birthday and the conditions haven't improved a wee bit although that is my prime concern at this time, I can't really keep publicising it cos people may think I am desperate(or in some cases they may lose their morale "if badri himself cant how will we!!!").But anyways I have few others that I can actually share with everyone.
Although birthdays repeat themselves once a year somehow this one the 23rd seems very special.Something tells me this year will be very eventful, full of adventure,success stories,learning,growth and free from health problems.But 23 also brings with it some worries like the following.
1) I just realized that as a 10th std student I used to think 23 and above are old people adults so by that calculation I am actually turning OLD .
2) According to my mother a donkey lives for 6 years and since I am entering my 24th year in this cosmos I am as old as 4 donkeys.So she can now scold me saying "naalu kazhuda veyasu aachi" - "you are as old as four donkeys"
so do that job or clean your clothes.
3) As a school student my aim in life used to be , i will earn a lot and eat out of my father's pocket. For those who haven't really tried it spending out of father's pocket can be great fun.Starting this day I am techically/officially and more importantly morally barred from spending out of father's pocket but yes till I get married I guess I can cajole my mother into giving me some non replayable loan now and then.
4) "I am just outta college","I am not even 23" seemed to be good execuses to avoid responsibility but now I cant use them anymore.
5) Birthdays mean expense, when I ate like a glutton at other's birthday treats I never realized that they may get to attend my birthday treat too, so there are good number of people ranging from school mates, college mates, x team mates and current team mates waiting to avenge themselves.
well those are my chief worries,hmm!!! actually there is just one more.There is this small 3rd standard boy who is my neighbour and for some reasons he prefers calling me "Uncle", I am usually not bothered by that but it really annoys me when he calls me uncle and turns my attempts to be successful into a failure.(remember my I am a failure worry)
I guess thats abt it.If you have any doubts or questions please refer the FAQ's before asking me.
FAQS:-
Q:1)Why did you think people 23 and older where old and not those 21 and 22?
A:hmm!!! err!!! I prefer not to answer
Q:2)Did you chose not to answer the previous question because you feel shy acknowledging the fact that you had a crush on a teacher who was 22 and that is why u thot 23 and older is old?
A:yes!! you got me.back then I always thot I will grow old and tell her abt my crush never realized she will grow too.. :-(
Q:3)Are you always this dumb?
A:Only questions relating to the above article shall be entertained.But since you asked. Yes!!!
Q:4)So what sense does that phrase "as old as four donkeys" make?
A:I dont really know neither does my mother, she probably scolds me that way cos her mother used to scold her that way.
Q:5)Why is it that you can ask you mother for a non repayable loan only till you dont get married?
A:I personally feel it will be unethical to ask your mother for a loan when you can actually ask your wife.
Q:6)Now that you realize that people will get to avenge themselves are you going to give up gluttoning?
A:In life there are ups and downs but you must never lose your spirits and goals due to one or two occasional downs.
Q:7)Are you really going to give a treat to so many people "school mates, college mates, x team mates and current team mates"?
A:Are you kidding me, I work for a salary,I really wish I can avoid giving a treat to all of them but my current team mates are so excited about celebrating my birthday that if I dont give them a treat, they will choose to celebrate thru "Birthday Bumps".
cheers,
Badrinath.V.S :-)
In another 13-14 days I will turn 1 year less younger, although the norm is to turn 1 year older I prefer it this way. Ok back to where I was I will be turning i year less younger and that would mean another feather in an already crowded hat.
Well it aint an accomplishment, it just happens you dont even have to work for it and its so common that all men and ofcourse women have it but for some reason somebody thought of ages ago that birthdays must be celebrated.And here we are celebrating birthday's and throwing out parties/treats even though we are left wondering, Why on all important rejoiceable occasions in our life we have to grow less richer.
Anyways that aint my point here, treats and the sorrow they bring(to the sponsorer) are aint really my worries right now, what is, is that I haven't achieved something that a good number of my friends have by this time.
During my school days when the friends I am talking about where working hard to the lay the foundations for the success they were to have later, impressing the class teacher,playing football and day dreaming where my chief occupations.As much as they would tell me the importance of making such an achievement in life it always seemed unimportant to me and at times when it seemed important I would procrastinate saying "boy chill there is time".Had I worked hard or may be for the kind of person I was at school, bright and smart(hey stop laughing I am sharing my worries with you not joking) I could have easily laid the foundation to go ahead and make the same achievement but I dint I was too casual.
School got over and a good number of my friends left for different colleges with their chins up and with the smile of accomplishment beaming on their face, they had worked hard and laid the foundation, they did realize later that what was more difficult was keeping the foundation strong and not laying it but well they handled that part well,kudos to them for their perserverance and patience and may be tolerance considering all the struggle they had to endure.
But I was lazy all along and never wanted to invest my time and skills in anything other than video gaming and football.At college I never got the chance, there were opportunities but there was too much competition, yet again I was too lazy to put up a fight against the competition.Come to college, go home, write exam clear all papers without cup(arrears) was all I wanted to do I really dint care abt making that achievement that was so precious to many around me.Mostly the best opportunities were always taken by the not so lazy, keen to succeed, willing to work hard kind and hence obviously dint even qualify.I still dint want to invest time, I never realized the value of making such an achievement and by the time I reached my final year at college "get a job,go to work, make money, live happily" had become my mission in life aptly designed for a couch potato like me who dint want to flex a muscle.
Suddenly now when I look at the thousands who curse themselves, sometimes within themselves(although it shows on their face) and sometimes vociferously I really feel I have made a mistake, I missed a real lot of opportunities.Take for example my company whenever the successful people who have made that kinda achievement proudly and sometimes shyly(because of all the recognition) confess the same, I can see the ones that haven't achieved watch them agape and immediately go into their dreamlands or memory lanes retrospecting on what they must have done but haven't, suddenly they desperately wish they had done it too but sometimes its too late, some resign too their fate "elaiketha ellu urundai" they say but some still feel for it.
Now I suddenly feel that there is something more than getting a good job and living happily , I must have used the opportunities I got well but I dint, I really must have worked hard.Really now when I retrospect I feel like a failure and a miserable one.I am royally struck by the "I feel like a failure" syndrome.
But may be there is time to correct all this.I really hope there is still time left for me and I really pray to god that I get atleast one another opportunity. I hear that Einstein made his first achievement only after he turned 26 so I guess that still leaves me 3 more years and hopefully I will succeed, hopefully I will get the opportunity if I keep looking and god willing will make full use of it to get that coveted achievement that they call a "GirlFriend".
cheers,
Badrinath.V.S :-)
P.S :- If you are an achiever I can use tips from you, pls mail me at badrinath at gmail dot com.
P.P.S :- If you are planning to gift me on my BDay an opportunity i mean a date would be great, but if you cannot arrange for the same a pair of nike shoes or an ipod or a discman are fine gifts too.And hey if you are my boss I can really use an hike. ;-)
